- 1 Am I Ready For Divorce?
- 2 10 Signs That You’re Ready For Divorce
- 2.1 1. You’ve Been Abused
- 2.2 2. Counseling Didn’t Work
- 2.3 3. Changed Sexual Preference
- 2.4 4. You Do Not Trust Your Partner
- 2.5 5. You don’t Enjoy Spending Time With Each Other
- 2.6 6. You’re Not Happy
- 2.7 7. You’re Always Disappointed in Your Partner
- 2.8 8. You Have No Physical Intimacy Left
- 2.9 9. There’s No Communication Left
- 2.10 10. Infedility
They say ask the right questions before getting married to make a perfect union. But, hardly do we advise the same to the couple opting for a divorce. Isn’t it?
However, experts suggest putting an equal amount of consideration before deciding for both of the crucial aspects of life should be given. Even if the couple’s final decision is to dissolve the marriage and go for separation, asking yourself a set of questions to check the ‘readiness’ is vital.
Am I Ready For Divorce?
That’s up to you to decide. There are many factors you should take into consideration while determining whether you’re ready or not. Also, ask yourself these three questions to help you out of the dilemma before the final proceeding:
A. Have you put in enough effort to save the relationship?
Before concluding, ask yourself if you have exhausted all the avenues to revive your marriage? These include everything from watching expert podcasts to reading insightful blogs and books to consulting an expert marriage counselor to acquiring advice from a close friend or family member. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What was your relationship like when it worked?
- When did it go wrong, and why?
- Is there any chance of giving it a fresh start?
B. Have you researched and planned for your post-divorce life?
Divorce can be a tiring and complicated process. Before you begin with the process, you must think deeply about how you’re going to embark on your new independent life journey. Divorce involves financial disputes, child custody issues, co-parenting decision-making, and other legal aspects that need to be contemplated well before proceeding with the legal process. To do so, you need to ask yourself the following questions,
- Do you have your bank accounts secured and filled enough to support you financially?
- Are there any other marital or financial assets you might be entitled to?
- How are you going to manage the financial expenses of yours and your child/parents single-handedly?
C. Are you ready to embrace the new role as a co-parent?
Just because you are separating and your marriage would be ending doesn’t mean all the responsibilities you had will end. If you have children together, your commitment and relationship as a parent will never end. Hence, it is your responsibility to create a new bond and equation with your children and your partner to be the best possible co-parent. To check your readiness for the same, ask yourself.
- Am I prepared to not burden my children with my emotions about the whole situation?
- Will I be able to survive the separation turmoil and not rob the children of their childhood?
- How best can my partner and I handle it to minimize the mental harm to the children?
Jumping to a conclusion and beginning the process to get rid of a situation will only bring challenges that you never thought of. Hence, pull a chair, get a cup of tea/coffee, and give a ‘readiness’ test yourself to think about the future possibilities and how you will be the best at managing them.
Apart from asking yourself these questions, you should also look for the signs that indicate that you might be ready for divorce. Let’s discuss what these signs could be.
After asking yourself these questions, there are some signs that indicate that it’s time for a divorce.
Related Post: 4 Divorce Alternatives You Should Try
10 Signs That You’re Ready For Divorce
- Mental or physical abuse Lack of sexual intimacy
- You’re always angry at each other
- You do not spend quality time alone
- Counseling couldn’t save your marriage
- You have stopped romanticizing your relationship
- Absence of mutual respect
- You do not trust each other
- You don’t think about a future together
- You spend more time alone
Let’s discuss about it in detail.
Also Read: Signs Your Wife Is Cheating
1. You’ve Been Abused
If your relationship has a history of abuse or you partner abused you kids, it’s high time that you take a step out of the marriage. In such cases, divorce might prove to be really helpful in protecting yourself and regaining safety for yourself and your kids that you lost within the relationship. Keep in mind that abusive behavior of your partner can amplify further in the future and damage your mental as well as physical health. Therefore, it is a wiser decision to call quits on the marriage and seek help from therapists and mental professionals to feel safe and normal again.
2. Counseling Didn’t Work
If you have been to a marriage counselor for working out on your issues but haven’t been able to come to any resolution, you should think about getting a divorce. If a relationship is undergoing deep-rooted issues or if you are heading in different directions in life, your issues might not come to a resolution. So, if marriage counseling didn’t help you reconcile your marriage, you may have got the reason to head to divorce.
3. Changed Sexual Preference
It’s heart-wrenching to know that your partner is no longer interested in you and wants somebody else. Or if it is you who wants to engage sexually with another person, it might hit your marriage really bad. It’s really miserable to be in such a position and to put somebody in that position. To move on from this, divorce is the best option you have. It will not only help you maintain your self-esteem, but also allow you to move on to something more positive.
4. You Do Not Trust Your Partner
If you don’t trust your partner and have been doubting him or her of cheating or lying and if there have been recorrent trust issues, you probably need a divorce. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, if that’s not there and you haven’t been able to reinstate that for so long, you must move forward from your relationship.
5. You don’t Enjoy Spending Time With Each Other
Another red flag of a doomed marriage is that you no longer like spending time with each other. Well, that’s when a relationship gets boring, stressful, and depressing even. If you’re constantly looking forward to going out and spending time with your friends rather than spending time with your spouse, you may already be done with the marriage.
6. You’re Not Happy
They say the purpose of our lives is to be happy. So, if you’re not happy in a relationship and you don’t see yourself happy in the future as well, you need to move on. If you have given it a try and even then you don’t find happiness in a marriage, try being separated for some time. If the separation works for you, you should head to divorce.
7. You’re Always Disappointed in Your Partner
It’s not good to have someone always live upto your expectations but it doesn’t mean that your partner should never meet your expectations. If they’re always letting you down and never helping you out with anything, you should try getting separated for a while. And if it doesn’t work out even then and they’re not ready to make amends, you should file a divorce as soon as you can.
8. You Have No Physical Intimacy Left
According to a survey, nearly 12% of marriages lack physical intimacy. That means there is no or a very little sexual activity between the partners in around 12% marriages – which is one of the leading causes of divorce. If your marriage has been sexless for a while now (without any apparent reasons), and your partner doesn’t show any interest in you, you might consider divorce.
9. There’s No Communication Left
No or a very little communication can make you feel lonely. It’s like having a life-partner, but not someone who you can share your feelings with. If you’re not being heard and you have not been able to open up to your partner about your feelings, you must talk to your partner about this. If he/she still let it go unnoticed and overly-engaged in their life-demands without keeping you in frame, you can consider divorce.
If your partner is cheating on you and sleeping with somebody else regularly – well, that’s a major deal-breaker in a marriage. If you have learned about other affairs that your partner is engaged in, you must head straight to divorce. Seeking emotional and physical relationships outside of marriage is one of the leading reasons why a marriage ends. If you do not take a decision now, it might affect your mental health and raise many other concerns like self-doubts, lack of trust in future relationships etc.
If you are noticing most of these signs in your marriage, maybe it’s time to move on and start anew.