How to Divorce A Good Man?

October 5, 2021

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Asking your partner to agree on divorce is always nerve-wracking, especially if he is a good man. 

Life is so unpredictable. You’re married to a really good man, but you think you are not compatible with him. You love him like crazy but he isn’t supportive enough for you. There are many reasons you may choose to divorce a good man and it’s okay!

Whatever your reason is, divorce is going to be emotionally and physically draining for both of you. Therefore, we suggest you re-think your decision or try to talk it out if you can. 

However, you still want to pursue your decision, we’re here to help you make it a little easy for you by providing some insights.

How to divorce a good man?

Divorcing a good man takes another level of courage. No matter how perfect your marriage seems, but, things happen within a relationship, which the outer world is unaware of. In such a case, the lady needs to make a smart decision.

In most cases, divorce is not at all an easy task. The reason can be anything from money to children. However, if you feel that your husband has been a good man and he has never cheated on you or done anything wrong, and yet you want to divorce him, here are some good things to say or do:

  • Be generous and speak the truth in a polite manner.
  • Tell him what the issues are and see if he’s willing to fix.
  • Have a proper reason to divorce, don’t makeup something because you think he deserves it.
  • He may still love you so hard that he can do anything for you. So make sure that whatever decision you take about him and his future is 100% right and correct.
  • Work on your marriage but make sure to not let him know if you plan on getting a divorce. But, there is no secret in the world which will stay for a long time.
  • Forgive and forget
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Leaving a Good Man is a Hard Thing To Do

When the prospect of ending a relationship with a good man, guilt grows, making you feel bad about your decision.

It is easier to file a divorce against a cheating husband, but not with someone who is always caring and loving to you, and the guilt emotion can haunt you for life. 

So, the guilt can certainly push you back from getting divorced from a good man. 

But, you have to weigh the reason for filing the divorce against your husband’s good qualities, then decide. 

You Have to Be Prepared for the Worst

Yes, you heard it right; you got to be prepared for the worst. What if your spouse doesn’t mutually agree to file the divorce? Then what’s the way out? 

Well, you can first request a divorce in court. When you file the divorce petition, the court will send the divorce to your spouse’s address to sign. 

If your spouse acknowledges that they have received the documents but do not appear in court for divorce, even then, the judge can order divorce.

On the other hand, if your good man doesn’t acknowledge the divorce documents, you will have a hard time, as the judge cannot grant your divorce without this. 

In such a scenario, we suggest you hire a family law attorney to best guide you on how to proceed with the divorce petition. 

You can involve a mutual friend or relative to make your good man agree on divorce. 

You Have to Prepare Yourself Mentally, Emotionally, and Financially 

Mentally and emotionally, you will have a hard time getting a divorce from a good man. There will be many fears that would come in your path of ending the marriage with a nice husband. 

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First is the fear of being alone; no one would support you in your bad times. 

Secondly, the question looms in mind, would I be able to find such a good man ever? All these are not uncommon among divorcees. 

However, you should be optimistic and think being alone allows you to focus on your career pursuits. 

Some women also fear the judgment of their best friends and relatives about their decision to leave a good man. 

As a piece of advice, if you have decided to get divorced, you must not tell this to someone whom you think will be judgmental. Just keep in mind, it’s your life, your decisions. 

Now, when you have emotionally and mentally conquered your mind to get divorced, the next step is to be financially ready for it. 

If you are a dependent partner in the marriage, then you have every right to request spousal support. 

Consult your lawyer, and figure how to file the alimony petition in court. 

Be Patient With Him Because He Might Feels Like He Has Lost Everything in His Life 

This is something really difficult, and you have to plan the divorce talk with your good husband. Patience is the key here, don’t lash out your anger if he decides not to leave you. 

You have to be sensitive about the time and place where you will ask your partner for divorce. 

Pick a private place for you two to have a comfortable chat

If your spouse is still in love with you, then you should suggest he should opt for the trial separation period before the divorce so that your man will have some time to deal with his emotions. 

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When you have launched the divorce, leave it for now, don’t try to finalize everything there. Although you have many things to discuss, right from child custody to alimony, then keep all these reversed for another meeting; as of now, the divorce blow is enough. 

Give your partner to digest your decision of divorce, and don’t indulge in any fight. 

Let’s Wind Up

Last but not be least, communicate honestly and calmly. Even if you have decided to leave your good man, you should show that you still care about him and calmly listen to all his emotions & concerns. 

These include eye contact & nodding your head. 

Use “I” in your statement. For instance, I feel we end this relationship, not “You,” to avoid conflict. 

And, not to mention, show that you are firm with your decision, no vulnerability. Otherwise, your husband will leave no stone unturned to make you change your decision.