What to Do After a Breakup: All Dos and Don’ts

February 6, 2021

Reading Time: 7 minutes

After the breakup, emotional turmoil has a hard-hitting impact on one’s physical and mental well-being. Some experience relief, some self-pity & grief, while others are perplexed, what to do next. Some even feel all of these emotions at once. Even if the breakup has happened mutually, you still are left with many uncomfortable emotions that don’t let you properly sleep, eat, and may even cause depression. To help you out after a breakup, we’ve put forth a compliance guide that highlights the dos and don’ts after your relationship has ended. 

Things You Should Do After a Breakup

Take Some Time Apart

For a healthy breakup, a little space between the two of you is imperative, even if you still have to maintain a relationship. Take a break from seeing each other, even if your ex is in the same office, and no texting. By doing so, you can heal yourself and get ready to enter a new relationship. 

Keep Yourself Busy

The more you stay free, the more you will be tempted to talk to your ex and get back to him/her. This is the best time to focus on yourself. Do everything in your power to resist the desire to get back to your ex and keeping yourself busy is the best way to do that. Remind yourself that it will get better – because it does.

Respect Each Other

Yes, you want to stay in contact with your ex, but if he/she is hesitant, respect your ex’s needs. Don’t call, text, or talk to a mutual pal to talk to them. You dearly miss his/her championship, but by not respecting their boundaries, you might end the possibility of a future patch up or friendship once for all. 

Maintain Distance

If you really want to move on from the pain and grief of a breakup, maintaining a physical and emotional distance is very important. You might want to stay friends after the breakup and it’s okay to be that way. But, it is very important that you know your boundaries and don’t confuse your feelings. They might come to help you in crisis or you may even lean your head on their shoulders while watching a movie, but don’t let this mess with your emotions. If you choose to stay friends, do not forget to act like friends.

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Take Care Of Yourself

Self-care is important during the ugly phase of a breakup. Try new things in your life, like cooking, singing, dancing, or set on a solo trip to gain experiences for life that will help you overcome your pain and past trauma. You can start meditation; this will certainly help you in the long-run to achieve good health. Get proper sleep, but avoid laying on your couch all day with a broken heart. 

Get into the Dating world

Well, I believe this is easier said than done; for a full recovery after a breakup, you need to get into the dating game. Find a new love, and visit a bar, gym, or social club to interact with the new people, and you never know what the future has to offer you. You never know, your gym partner may become your future life partner. Keep high hopes.

But, if you feel you’re not ready, do not hesitate to give yourself a little more time.

Express Your Feelings

You got to vent your emotions out, maybe in front of your best friend or dad or an expert therapist. Because, without expressing your feelings, you won’t be able to get into a new relationship with an open mindset. Expressing, acknowledging, and owning your feelings is going to help you in the long run. At the same time, avoid sinking yourself in those feelings and whining about why this had to happen. Try not to develop any negative emotions about the situation and focus on more positive things.

Handle Your Future Encounters Well

Even if you chose not to remain friends after you bid final goodbye to each other, discuss how you’ll handle future encounters with each other – because they happen a lot especially when you live nearby or have some classes or work together. Ignoring is something we don’t suggest because it makes things even more awkward. We recommend you keeping it respectful and civil. If you work in the same place, keep your communication professional and don’t talk to your colleagues about your breakup.

Redecorate Your Space

This step is essentially required if you have been living with your ex. If you and your ex-partner lived together, your space will feel a lot different when they’re gone – mostly in a bad way. You can ease things a little by revamping your space. Exclude or sell the things that your ex brought and you didn’t like. Move your furniture the way you always wanted. Replace old sets of mugs with new ones. Get some fresh plants into the scene and you’ll start feeling a whole lot of better.

Box-Up Their Belongings

If your partner has left their belongings with you, the best and most respectful things you can do is to box them up and leave them a police message that they left their stuff at your place. And when they come to collect their belongings, have a civil conversation and do not chat too long – especially about emotions and all.

See also  How Long Does It Take To Get Over a Breakup?

Do Not Expose Details To Common Friends

If you two have friends in common, it’s better you don’t disclose the breakup details to them. If you do, just remember that there will be two sides of the story and you might even be judged for your decisions. You will not be able to avoid the gossip surrounding your breakup, but you can make it a little less controversial by sharing only required details. Even if you hear the untrue version of a break from a friend, don’t be triggered to respond to rumors.

Accept That It’s Nobody’s Fault

No matter how sad and heartbreaking breakups are, but they are nobody’s fault. Blaming yourself or your ex won’t get you anywhere. Instead, it will only bring you hate and negativity. Keep in mind that if things were meant to be, you would have found a way. Maybe it’s in the best interest of your life that this particular breakup happened. Always believe that there are better things waiting for you.

Do Things You Love

When you were in a relationship, there must definitely be things that you always wanted to do but didn’t because of your partner. Well, it’s time. Do everything that makes you happy – not only because you’re free to do them, but also because you deserve it.

Things Not To Do After a Breakup

Don’t Post About the Breakup

Never publicize your breakup. Social media is not the place to express your frustration towards your ex. In fact, highly avoid using social media for a while because it’s full of negativity and emotional triggers. Instead, read a good book and invest your time in something more positive and helpful.

Don’t Change Your Relationship Status Right Away

If your relationship status on Facebook is in a relationship, then be it, don’t change it immediately. At least give a week or two for a possibility of patch up. But at the same time, do not expect to patch up. Accept the current situation as it is. And wait for sometime to take your current relationship status to social media. The best way is to hide your current relationship status on social media.

Don’t Stalk Your Ex On Social Media

You probably are tempted to see what’s new happening in their life, resist yourself from checking out the recent activities on social media. Even if someone told you that your ex is dating someone or doing really good, do not fall prey to your desire to know what’s happening with him/her. Remember, you need to focus on yourself, not your ex.

Don’t Blame Yourself

You’re not the only one responsible for the breakup, so stop blaming yourself. In doing so, you’ll end up deteriorating your health, which is the last thing you want at this stage. 

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Do Not Misuse Alcohol Or Other Substances

No matter how miserable you feel right now, never ever turn to substance abuse. Never use alcohol or any other kind of drug to forget about your ex. These things will not solve any problem, but put so much more on your place. This will only prolong your inevitable pain and add more to it.

Don’t Let It Affect Your Social Life

You don’t have to give up your social life altogether. Yes for a few days, your breakup will be a hot topic for discussion, but things will improve and get normal. While you’re going through this, do not avoid meeting people and friends who understand you and help you feel good and loved. 

Don’t Have Breakup Sex

Breakup sex seems like a pretty good idea but IT’S NOT. No matter how tempted you are to have sex with your partner one last time, hold yourself back. It’s only going to make things worse. It will complicate your feelings leaving you confused and sometimes overly emotional.

Don’t Get Into a Rebound Relationship

First of all, avoid relationships for a while because your judgement might be clouded for sometime after your breakup. Also, even if someone is approaching you to be in a romantic relationship with them, do not jump in. Because, the chances are, you’re only getting into the relationship to feel better after breakup. It’s important that you really get over your ex before jumping in new relationship. Otherwise, you’ll always be comparing your present relationship with the past one.

Also Read: How Much Time Does It Take To Get Over A Relationship?

Don’t Obsess Over The Reasons

When we’re in a relationship, we learn a lot of new things about ourselves as well as our partners – sometimes good and sometimes really bad. We must learn to accept both good and bad with the same spirit. There are a number of reasons why your relationship ended up like this, but no reason should be enough to have power over you. Avoid going in circles feeling angry and resentful all the time. Try to understand that your relationship taught you some things that you can implement in your next one. It was not a mistake, just a lesson.

Don’t Tarnish Your Ex’s Image

You might be hurt, angry, and sad, but that doesn’t give you reason to tarnish the image of your ex in front of anyone. If you can’t speak good about them, don’t spread BS. Keep it to yourself and do not make any nasty comments on your ex in front of anyone. Remember that you made him/her part of your life once and respect the relationship and person you once had in your life.

In the end, it is important to know that recovering after a fresh breakup takes time. So, stay patient and follow these dos and don’ts list.