Divorce Checklist For Men: Get Help With The Process Before, During And After

September 1, 2021

Reading Time: 9 minutes

Divorce is a difficult process for everyone involved. It can be especially hard on men who are not sure what to expect. If you’re in the middle of your divorce, don’t worry, this checklist will help you get through it before, during, and after!

Pre Divorce

1. Understand What You’re Getting Into

Divorce is a long process even when you and your spouse are on great terms. It will put you through a lot of stress, anger, and sadness. It’s important to understand what you’re getting into before you start the process.

2. Prepare Yourself

Divorce is not easy and it can be even harder when you have children. Children are the most important thing in a divorce, they come first! You may feel like the world is ending but try to dust yourself off and keep moving forward for your kids. Make sure that you’re emotionally stable before going through this process so that you don’t take out your anger on them. It’s also very important to make sure that you have an emergency plan set up just in case things get too overwhelming or bad between both of you during a custody battle.

3. Get The Legal Help That You Need

You should never go into anything without getting professional help from attorneys who specialize in family law cases such as divorce and child custody battles. The more professional help you have, the better your chances of coming out on top. You can find a great attorney through family friends or by looking online at several different options in order to get reviews and recommendations before making an appointment.

4. Know Your State Laws

Before you or anyone starts to file for anything, make sure that you have an understanding of what state laws apply to your situation. Some states don’t recognize “no-fault” divorces while others won’t allow couples who live together but aren’t married – like boyfriends/girlfriends – to get divorced at all! Figure out if either applies before filing any documents so there will be no issues later down the road.

5. Get Pre-Assessment For Your Case

If you already have an attorney, this step should be done before the first meeting. You’ll want to get a pre-assessment of your case and future filings so that there are no surprises when it comes time for trial or agreement signing. This will also help with negotiations if one party is asking too much from another and can’t come down to a reasonable settlement. Also, you will get an idea about what kind of divorce you should file, how will child and spousal support work for your case etc.


1. Stay Calm And Composed As Much As Possible

When going through a divorce it’s very easy for both parties to feel overwhelmed with anger or sadness that they begin to lash out against each other verbally and physically which is never good. Make sure that you keep yourself as calm as possible throughout this process so that everything remains civil between you two. If things are getting too heated during conversations try not responding but instead writing down what was said then giving them back when everyone has calmed down.

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2. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Kids

It’s very important to take care of both yourself and your kids during this time. You don’t want anyone, especially the kids, getting sick or injured as a result of all the stress involved with divorce so make sure that you’re eating well and exercising regularly while also making sure that they are too! If there is one thing we know for certain it’s that if you stop taking care of yourself then everything else in life falls apart around you. The same goes for your children; not only should they be taken care of emotionally but physically as well which means staying active and healthy by doing fun things together like going on bike rides or playing at the park when the weather allows them to do those kinds of things.

3. Stay Organized And On Task With Paperwork

Divorce can be very time-consuming and overwhelming so it’s important to stay organized as much as possible in order to get through all the paperwork that needs to be filed correctly with courts. Make sure that you’re keeping track of deadlines, what has been done or not, how long each step is taking between both parties, payment amounts made toward divorce fees if there are any such as filing costs or court fees for example – which should never be more than $200-$300 by the way! You don’t want anything getting lost along the way just because someone didn’t file something on time when they were supposed to do so make everything known before going forward with whatever paperwork needs to be completed next.

4. Hire Therapist For Children If Needed

One of the most important things to remember during divorce is that children are often going through a lot more than what adults realize. They might not fully understand why their parents aren’t together anymore or feel like they’re responsible for it happening because kids always look up to their parents as being superheroes with no problems whatsoever but that just isn’t true even if we wish it was sometimes. If you ever think your child may need some additional help or therapy from someone who knows how to deal with this sort of stuff then don’t be afraid to hire them immediately regardless of whether there’s financial trouble at home right now or not which should never be something that holds anyone back when doing so will benefit everyone involved in the end!

5. Reach Out To People Who Have Been Through Divorce Before

There are many resources available to people who have been through divorce before and want some help on how they can manage the process themselves. If you don’t know anyone personally then there are always support groups that you can join online or in-person with other men and women as well! It doesn’t matter whether your wife was the one who wanted out of the marriage or not, it’s still a very tough time for both parties involved so making sure that everyone has someone to talk to about what’s going on in their lives.


1. Know Your Rights And Keep Track Of Child Support Payments

When you’re going through a divorce it’s very important to keep track of everything that is happening so that there aren’t any issues when it comes down to child support payments which are usually required from the father in divorces. Make sure that you file for custody and know what your visitation rights are as well if they have been denied by the other parent, or make arrangements with them on how much time will be spent between both parents according to their work schedule or family obligations, etc. If anything happens regarding money such as lack of payment, back payments due, missed deadlines – whatever may happen – then make sure that these things get taken care of before being able to move onto other things in your life.

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2. Don’t Lose Sight Of Your Goals And Hopes For The Future

Even though divorce can be a very trying time it’s important to never lose sight of what you want out of the future and that no matter what happens moving forward, even if things change completely with the other parent such as living arrangements for example, then make sure that you keep working towards your dreams and goals so that one day everything will work out just fine! You don’t ever wanna give up on yourself or lose track of all those things which are most important to achieving happiness – success is key after all – so always remember where you’re going, how much it means to achieve certain milestones along the way once they’ve been reached like finishing school for example, and how much you want to contribute positively into the lives of others.

3. Keep Your Other Relations Healthy By Communicating

It’s very important to keep your other relationships healthy after a divorce has gone through because it can get lonely during this time and you don’t want anyone else getting caught up in the middle of things. That means keeping family members, friends, or even neighbors close by so that they know what is going on if there are any issues at hand as well so everything doesn’t fester into something much bigger than it needs to be which could lead to more problems down the road for everyone involved! Keeping communication lines open between all parties will go a long way when trying to figure out who gets what but also how decisions should be made moving forward with whatever plans have been set into motion such as college life for example where one parent lives closer than the other.

4. Spend Time With Your Children To Make Things Easier

Depending on the situation it may be a good idea to try and move in with your children instead of them living so far away from you, but that can get complicated depending on what kind of custody agreement has been set into place. If possible then spending time together as much as possible will definitely make things easier for all parties involved because there is nothing worse than being separated by distance when trying to raise your kids properly! That means having their best interests in mind at all times which could mean moving closer or further away based on where they are going to school, activities they have after classes end such as sports teams, etc., or any other family obligations like work schedules for example – whatever works best according to everyone’s needs!

5. Respect Your Ex And Their New Partner (If Any)

Respecting your ex and their new partner is very important to consider as well because it doesn’t matter if you still are in love with them, or hate the ground they walk on – both of those emotions will pass eventually. That means not disrespecting them at all costs by saying things that could get you into trouble for example so that there aren’t any issues moving forward when it comes down to being able to see your kids again without getting permission from a judge! If anything tries being around them as little as possible when spending time with children just in case something does happen where tempers flare up then there isn’t anyone else involved other than parents who don’t want anything bad happening under their watch. You never know what can happen when it comes down to emotions running high so the best way is just to remain calm and collected at all times which means keeping your distance.

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6. Help Your Kids Adjust To Their New Lifestyle If They Are In A Different City Than You

It’s important that you help your kids adjust to their new lifestyle if they are in a different city than you after divorce proceedings have taken place because there will be many changes coming from now until whenever custody either gets modified or set into stone during future court dates for example. That means making sure those adjustments go as smoothly as possible by helping them get acclimated to everything going on around them such as school, friends, family members who may live nearby, etc., while also being able to make connections with you again so that the bond between you doesn’t get broken because of this whole process. If anything just tries and make things as normal for them as possible no matter what those circumstances maybe until they are able to handle everything on their own without having a meltdown if something changes unexpectedly!

7. Also, Be Prepared For Future Court Dates With Your Ex (If Any)

Spending time with your kids is always the number one priority but it’s also important to consider how future court dates will go when trying to modify custody or even set new guidelines into motion regarding visitation rights, etc., where everyone has been able to adjust accordingly – not like anyone wants to have drama happen in front of children. That means making sure legal documents are filed correctly by knowing what’s going to be a part of the case, what isn’t supposed to go on record for example (privacy is key), and how you will stand up against your ex no matter who they may have in their corner as well. If anything tries being prepared for every situation that could arise so things don’t get misconstrued which can lead down a road where emotions take over because there are feelings involved – or at least were before divorce proceedings took place!

8. Be Prepared To Take Things Slow With Your Kids When You First Spend Time Together Again

Being away from each other doesn’t always mean someone did something wrong even though it feels like that when kids aren’t around anymore after settling into some kind of routine with one parent during the early stages of divorce. That means being prepared to take things slow with your kids when you first spend time together again so that they don’t feel like something terrible happened or the reason why there has been a disruption in their life which is completely untrue! Kids know everything going on around them even if no one tells them anything, and can pick up on emotions very quickly as well – all of this can lead down a road where they get confused about what’s really happening because it doesn’t make any sense from their perspective (which is totally understandable).

As long as everyone remains patient then eventually those feelings will pass after spending some more time getting adjusted into whatever routine was set before moving forward once again during times where children are present for example.

If You Want To Get Out Of A Marriage Then Do So By Following The Legal Process And Making Sure Everything Goes Smoothly

Divorce is never easy no matter what it may be your reasons for wanting out but if there is one thing that we know then it’s that life goes on after a divorce which means that you should always move forward in a positive way as possible; this can only happen when all important papers are filed correctly with courts instead of taking shortcuts simply because everything seems overwhelming at times. This helps to avoid defects in anything from paperwork to court proceedings along the way so don’t take any chances or leave anything to chance just make sure that every little detail is handled correctly so that there are no unfortunate issues that can cause problems later on.